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Crapture: The Second Cumming

by Anal Christ

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1.
judgement day is here and i'm here to claim the lives of people who aren't completely lame people who don't care about society why dont you come and join me? hell is mostly a good time there's a lot of nails and shit, but you'll be fine liars, gays, murderers and serial rapists for these are the people i enjoy getting wasted with the second coming of anal christ the crapture is here, let's all rejoyce
2.
why the fuck was i invited to this bullshit oh my god i gotta sit and watch these suckers eat oh wow, jesus bragging about how he can turn water to wine what a piece of shit if i could do that id be loaded all the time what the fuck is on the go anyway i hope they got kfc that would be okay oh wait are you fucking serious all i got is bread you fucking pricks i got invited to this and this is some fucking shit i take the bread and take a bite out of it holy fuck this tastes like shit did someone rub a sweaty asshole on it you fucking pricks im going to fucking flip the last supper tasted like shit i cant believe this i got a facebook invite saying there'd be pals but all i see is rich conservative pricks the last supper tasted like shit how the fuck am i gonna get rid of it so when no one's looking i throw the bread under the table (and drink the wine of course) when judas is not looking i drink his wine as well hey got up and said "hey jesus is a fucking bitch" i was like "sorry man i got more beer in the van" he said "i dont fucking care, i'm gonna fuck jesus up" i said :"holy shit man, relax, dont you have a family" the last supper tasted like shit and the next thing you know judas was having a fit i wanna go home and get really whacked and forget about this the last supper tasted like shit
3.
killing is fun especially when you got a gun especially when you got a knife especially when you got a scythe especially when you're from hell especially when you're the spawn of satan i slit a person's throat with a knife the other day it was okay, i've done better jobs before i slit a person's throat with a knife the other day it was okay, i've done it plenty of times before ahhhhh killing is fun especially when you got a gun especially when you got a knife especially when you got a scythe especially when you're from hell killing is fun, when you're a demon killing ahhhhhh yeah fuck the rest, my name is evil
4.
i guess i'm staying down in hell, yea i can finally get some rest satan had listened to my full discography and he said he liked a few of my songs he said pit of cunts "had it's moments" blowjobs in the forest was "pretty alright" fuck you god was an "emotional ride" and hell 2.0 was "fucking tight" and for the most part he had constructive things to say he's glad i'm on his record label and he told me "i have something to say" that i gotta go back to hell.. i was rather disappointed i was going to work on some music but now i won't have the time, that's pretty unfortunate cause i'm feeling at a creative prime and now i gotta get the fuck out of hell
5.
one time i was chillin and smokin weed when satan came up to me and said he had to fucking pee i said "satan why did you come to me" he said "i don't know let me fucking pee" i said "no, you gotta tell me why not at the grocery store?" he said "you and me got a lot of history..anal christ why do you do these things to me? goddammit have you ever had to fucking pee?" i said "excuse me, satan, but i am a reasonable man" "i gotta lot of fans that are from hell but that doesn't mean you can push me around, get the hell out of my home before i call my landlord satan you fucking piece of shit" he said "i will cut your wife's tits off" i said "do it cause she's a bitch" i went to the kitchen to make a sandwich satan looked around and saw my weed picked it up and smoked some trees and when i came back he was lyin on the floor he spilt a milkshake on the floor next thing you know me and satan were chillin watching dazed and confused and cuddling and shit next thing you know he wanted some of my cheetos and i said "no get the fuck out of my house" later that day i went to the bathroom and saw that satan pissed all over the counter goddamit satan that's the last straw the next time you're here im gonna break your fucking balls
6.
7.
i'm gonna go kill someone i am so fucking pissed off i'm gonna fucking kill your dog i'm gonna fucking rape you too i'm gonna fucking slit your throat tonight i'm gonna fucking kill someone it's the night of the seventh darkness
8.

about

the sixteenth album by the masters of evil, Anal Christ. 8 tracks of a pure nightmarish vision from the depths of hell.
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credits

released May 21, 2015

track 7 originally by defence force
track title 2 by beaded infant asshole
special thanks to THE DEAD ONE/CREAM PIE ALTAR BOY

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Anal Christ hell, Michigan

We're Evil

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