one time i was chillin and smokin weed
when satan came up to me and said he had to fucking pee
i said "satan why did you come to me"
he said "i don't know let me fucking pee"
i said "no, you gotta tell me why not at the grocery store?"
he said "you and me got a lot of history..anal christ why do you do these things to me? goddammit have you ever had to fucking pee?"
i said "excuse me, satan, but i am a reasonable man"
"i gotta lot of fans that are from hell but that doesn't mean you can push me around, get the hell out of my home before i call my landlord satan you fucking piece of shit"
he said "i will cut your wife's tits off"
i said "do it cause she's a bitch"
i went to the kitchen to make a sandwich
satan looked around and saw my weed
picked it up and smoked some trees
and when i came back he was lyin on the floor
he spilt a milkshake on the floor
next thing you know me and satan were chillin
watching dazed and confused and cuddling and shit
next thing you know he wanted some of my cheetos
and i said "no get the fuck out of my house"
later that day i went to the bathroom
and saw that satan pissed all over the counter
goddamit satan that's the last straw
the next time you're here im gonna break your fucking balls
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